How to Be Dead
by Seph Meadowes
Summary: She'd been so shocked, she couldn't protest and then she did the unthinkable – she kissed him back. It was only for a second before he pulled away, smiled at her and departed with a "Cheers, sweetheart". Kol/Caroline. Complete.


_Please don't go crazy, if I tell you the truth, _  
_ No you don't know what happened, and you never, will, _  
_ If you don't listen to me while I talk to the wall, _  
_ This blanket is freezing, its been out in the hall, _  
_ Where you fight me for hours, 'til I'm sure what I want _  
_ But darling I want the same thing, that I wanted before, _  
_ So sweetheart tell me what's up, I won't stop, no way._

**Snow Patrol, How to Be Dead**

Okay.

So maybe it was something but oh come on, calling it a 'thing' was so immature and ridiculous. She was technically eighteen now but _whatever_, fact of the matter was it was a 'thing' she didn't want to remember and if she wanted she will not remember it.

Kiss.

Oh how the dreaded word poured acid into her veins. She felt like throwing up and maybe slitting her wrists while she was at it. Because it was just so…so weird! Why would he…when did he even…how could he…and what possessed him to…

She couldn't even formulate a proper sentence anymore and it was his entire fault! If any of her friends found out they would go ballistic! Especially Bonnie and Damon who were against everything _they_ were and they'd ostracize her and berate her until she lost her mind finally! Or they'd kill him…She didn't know why that made her dread it so much but there you go.

She felt like time was just ticking until she relented and told her friends, like every silent moment was an avenue for a confession from her. Like they knew but they didn't. And how ridiculous was that? Fairly much if she considered it.

She should've never went into the Grill that night because that was the night that Kol Mikaelson decided to unleash his hormonal urges on her. She was looking for Bonnie and she didn't see him approach from the bar, it was already too late before she found herself in an intense lip lock, his mouth soft and wet and everything she wished it wasn't.

She'd been so shocked, she couldn't protest and then she did the unthinkable – she kissed him back. It was only for a second before he pulled away, smiled at her and departed with a "Cheers, sweetheart".

It was horrible. No, it wasn't. It was incredible. Probably, the best kiss she's ever had and that was saying a lot. It had been the single most sensual moment in her life and how she wished she could forget it, only to erase her sudden fixation on him.

She saw him walking down the street and followed, using all her feline grace to make sure she wasn't seen. She wasn't a vampire anymore. Those didn't exist anymore after the spirits beyond turned every original and the vampires they'd sired human. Damon and Stefan had killed Klaus with a knife to the chest and the rest had scattered across the ends of the earth except for _him_, of course, he had to stay and haunt her.

He went inside a pharmacy, hiding a bottle of something that glistened like sea glass in his coat pocket. She watched in fascination as he went outside and then traversed the way home, she followed of course. When he was outside his house, he stopped, turned around and looked straight at where she was hiding behind. He narrowed his brown eyes before entering the house, making her sigh in relief.

The front door was open when she checked. She chalked it up to that warped sense of invincibility he must thought he still had. Arrogant jerk. She was happy at the easy entry anyway and went in, eyeing the hallway as she made her way to the living room where he was currently downing a shimmering tonic in a glass, the bottle on the coffee table.

He expected to see her because he greeted her with a nod and a "Forbes" before taking a sip of his drink, wincing at the taste.

"Kol," She uttered out. "What are you doing?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" He cocked an eyebrow. "You followed me here."

"How do you…"

"I didn't survive this long without any instincts. I noticed you the moment you started following me."

"Oh."

Oh indeed. Apparently he didn't need super senses to notice her, maybe she was a blip on his radar, something he couldn't get rid of.

"What's that?" She gestured to his drink.

"It is disgusting tonic from the pharmacy," He grimaced. "It keeps my strength up."

That was odd.

"Why would you need to keep your strength up?"

"Because, Forbes," He said slowly. "I'm dying."

Her knees almost gave away and she struggled to process what he just said. He was…what?

"What?"

"You heard me," He gestured to the couch perpendicular to the one he was sitting on. "Now take a seat, you look like you're going to faint."

She did as told but kept her eyes on him, noticing for the first time how pale he was, too pale, sickly. She wanted to throw up. Her thoughts racing with so many questions.

"But _why_?"

"Why? Everybody dies. You see, it's the circle of fucking life. You're born, you live then you die. Simple as that."

No it was not as simple as that? Why was he so calm? Why wasn't he sobbing or something? He should be some kind of wreck right?

"You're kidding, right?"

She still couldn't grasp it.

"I don't kid about death, sweetheart," He grinned. "Not since I found out anyway."

"But you can't die! You're an Original and Originals can't die!"

He chuckled, amused at her. "Tell that to my brothers that your friends successfully killed."

Why the fuck was he smiling? He was going to die and he was happy about it?

"You're sick. You shouldn't be laughing about this? How long have you known?"

"Since I turned human," He explained. "My mother's last little present for me before she left."

"Are Rebekah and Elijah…"

"No , they're fine, wherever they are."

"But…"

"It's fine, they don't know," He said. "And it's not like it's any a big loss. No one's going to miss me."

"That's not true!" She protested. "Your family they'll miss you and…"

"Oh spare me," He shook his head. "They'll miss me just as much as you will and you sure as hell don't fancy me."

She turned so pale, stiffening once at his words. He noticed and realization struck him as her.

"Bloody hell," An infectious smile bloomed on his face. "You do fancy me! Fuck, Forbes, you're fucking in love with me!"

"No, I don't!" She's quick to deny but he's still grinning and she wants to crawl into a hole and die. "Stop smiling!"

"Can't help it," He'd sing-song before asking. "So, how long have you been in love with me?"

"I'm not in love with you!" She replied hotly. "You're sickness has made you delusional."

"Oh come on now, sweetheart," He said. "You can tell me. It's just us and you picked the perfect time as well. I'll be gone in a few months and you'll be off scot-free, no commitments whatsoever!"

She felt the bile rising in her throat again. "Stop it," She resisted. "Stop making light about your death."

"Why not? Saves the trouble for your friends who are obviously still itching to kill me,"

She squirmed in her seat, not knowing what to say next. She looked down at her feet and then back at him, wanting, no, _aching_ to know the answer to the one question plaguing her brain. "Why did you kiss me?"

He smiled wider and put down his glass on the coffee table. He opened his mouth to answer and then closed it again before shrugging. She bristled.

"Don't just do that!" She exclaimed. "Answer me! Why – did – you – _kiss_ – me?"

He cocked his head to the side and then blinked at her. "I thought you were smart. Can't you figure it out? Want to wager a guess?"

"No, I don't. Just tell me!"

He sighed. "Bloody hell, woman, it can't be that hard to figure out! Klaus always said you were a smart one but I'm beginning to doubt his words. You can't be that obtuse can you?"

And now he was just insulting her. She scowled. "Can you just get to it? Explain."

"Alright, sweetheart," He looked her in the eye and said very slowly. "I –_ like_ – you."

"What?" She shook her head.

"Yes." He nodded.

"But _why_?"

"Why?" He turned to look past her and at the wall, his eyes distant. "God knows."

God knows? Honestly.

She moved to get up and took the few steps to where he was seated, maintaining a few inches of space between them. "You're insufferable."

"Nothing I haven't heard before." He smirked. "But then again, you're in love with me so…"

She sighed loudly. There was just no arguing with him and she was getting sick and tired of having to defend her feelings. She wasn't in love with him. She wasn't. Was she? It was beginning to sound repetitive even to her.

"Kol…what am I going to do with you?"

He shrugged. "It's just another six months and then you'll never have to see me again."

She suddenly felt like crying, the tears welling up in her eyes. "How can you be so calm about this?"

"See, I've had time to accept this. I've lived for centuries, Forbes, centuries and I've gotten quite sick of life anyway. So I thought I'd approach this with a pinch of humor instead of sobbing my eyes out." He continued. "Don't worry, you'll forget about me. Get married, have kids, the whole shebang. "

"You could too! You could…"

"I'm not meant for that kind of life, never was," He shrugged. "It's just how things are."

A stray tear fell down her cheek and he caught it with a finger, staring at it for a moment before caressing the apple of her cheek with his thumb. "Don't cry for me, sweetheart, I'm really not worth it."

"No, you're not. You're horrible, psychotic, sadistic, mean, vile and…and…"

She ran out of venom and he noticed it too. She collapsed in his arms, sobbing as he stroked her back, patting her hair and susshing her. "It's fine, Forbes, stop being so melodramatic."

"I'm _not_," She croaked. "You're dying and…"

His lips silenced her and she sobbed into it as the kiss deepened. It was just as wonderful as the first time and she let him kiss her until the tears dried and she was no longer gasping for breaths. She let him kiss her until she was calm and he pulled away with the tenderest look in his eyes, like he…like he loved her and she felt her heart breaking.

"Six months," She uttered.

"Six months," He nodded.

It was all they had.

Kol smiled.

* * *

**Whoo, I finally wrote something for this ship. Hurrah! Does it all seem terrible OOC? I don't know! Forgive me for my faults, errors and mushiness, I'm only human.**


End file.
